Buhlebenkosi Nkomo
Ilobolo kayisiyo ndaba yabantu ababili abathandanayo kuphela kodwa iyisivumelwano esihlanganisa imuli ezimbili, izihlobo kanye lezizukulwane. Yikho indaba zomendo ziqhutshwa ngabantu abadala abalolwazi ngamasiko lendlela yokukhuluma phakathi kwemuli. Phakathi kwabantu laba kulabomalume labobabamkhulu, abathwala umsebenzi ngesikhathi sokucelwa, ukulobola kanye lokwakha ubudlelwano phakathi kwemuli zombili.
Ngokwesiko ubabamkhulu ngumuntu ohlonitshwa kakhulu ngenxa yobudala bakhe, ulwazi kanye lendima yakhe ekugcineni amasiko esintu. Emalobolweni, ubabamkhulu uvame ukuba ngomunye wabakhokhela izingxoxo, ikakhulu nxa kuyindaba ezidinga ukuhlakanipha lokwehlisa imimoya. Kudala, uyise wentombi wayengajayele ukukhuluma kakhulu ngesikhathi sokulobolo ngoba kwakukholwa ukuthi indaba zomendo kwakumele ziqhutshwe ngabantu abangeke balawulwe yimizwa.
Lokhu kwakusenzelwa ukuvikela ukuthi ingxoxo zingaphenduki impikiswano loba ukuxabana. Abadala babekwazi ukukhuluma ngenhlonipho, behlise ulaka njalo bagcine ubuntu phakathi kwemuli zombili. Ngokwesintu, amazwi omuntu omdala ayelalelwa njalo ehlonitshwa kakhulu ngoba kukholwa ukuthi umuntu osekhulile ulolwazi lwempilo olwedlula olwabatsha.
Umalume laye ulendima eqakathekileyo kakhulu ekuqhutshweni kwamalobolo. Emasikweni amanengi, umfowabo kamama uthathwa njengomvikeli womntwana njalo njengomuntu olamandla okukhuluma endabeni zomendo. Lokhu kwenza omalume babe ngabantu abamela intombi ngesikhathi sengxoxo ngoba basuke bemela inhlalakahle yayo kanye lesithunzi semuli yakwabo.
Nxa abakhongi befika bezocela intombi, kuvamise ukuthi bamukelwe ngabantu abadala kuqala. Umalume loba omunye wabobabamkhulu uyabuza ukuthi izivakatshi zilandeni njalo zivelaphi. Lokhu kwenziwa ngendlela yesintu egcwele ukuhloniphana. Indlela yokukhuluma phakathi kwemuli zombili ibalulekile ngoba yiyo eyakha ubudlelwano obuhle kusukela ekuqaleni.
Omalume labobabamkhulu kabagcini ngokukhuluma kuphela kodwa bangabeluleki bomendo. Intombi yayelulekwa ngokuhlonipha umuzi ezangena kuwo, indlela yokukhuluma labadala kanye lokuziphatha njengomakoti. Umkhwenyana laye wayefundiswa ukuqakathekisa ukuhlonipha, ukubekezela lokuphatha umkakhe ngemfanelo.
Amasiko omendo ayengaqakathekisi imali kuphela kodwa ayegxile ekwakheni ubudlelwano phakathi kwemuli. Lokhu yikho okwakwenza abantu abadala babe lensika eqinisa ukuthula, ubuntu kanye lokuhloniphana phakathi kwabantu.
Kwezinye izikhathi, omalume labobabamkhulu babengenelela nxa kulokungezwani phakathi kwemuli. Ngenxa yolwazi lwabo kanye lendlela ababekhuluma ngayo, babekwazi ukwehlisa imimoya lokulungisa lapho okwakungase kubangele ukuxabana. Lokhu kwakusenza ilobolo iqhutshwe ngendlela eletha ukuthula kulokuletha inzondo.
Lalamuhla, lanxa impilo isiguqukile ngenxa yemadolobho, umsebenzi kanye lokuhlakanipha, lendima yabomalume labobabamkhulu isaqhubeka iqakathekile emindenini eminengi. Lanxa ezinye izingxoxo sezisenziwa ngomakhalekhukhwini loba abantu bengasahlali ndawonye njengakudala, abantu abadala basalokhu behlonitshwa ekuthatheni izinqumo ezinkulu zomendo.
Abanye abantu bakhala ngokuthi amasiko amanengi ayaphela ngoba abatsha abanengi abasalaleli abantu abadala njengakudala. Kodwa-ke, abanengi basakholelwa ukuthi ukubakhona kwabomalume labobabamkhulu emalobolweni kugcina isithunzi somendo kanye lobuntu besizwe samaNdebele.
Amasiko la aqhubeka efundisa ukuthi umtshado awumelanga ume phezu kothando kuphela kodwa kumele usekelwe yikuhloniphana, ukubambana kanye leseluleko sabadala. Kungalesi sizathu abomalume labobabamkhulu beqhubeka bethathwa njengensika eqinisa umendo esintwini.
